


Wild Cherry

by veivei



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark Past, Evil Twins, M/M, Psyche's still a cute idiot most of the time though, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:12:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veivei/pseuds/veivei
Summary: "He looks just like me. You could say he's my evil twin. And by evil I don't mean he's an inverted version of me and he's actually a nice guy, though he may seem like that at first glance.”





	Wild Cherry

**Author's Note:**

> A fic I started years ago that I'd like to finish. 
> 
> DRRR Kink Meme request: http://drrrkink.livejournal.com/2231.html?thread=5279159#t5279159

"There's something I'd like you to do for me." Izaya called after Namie as she was getting ready to leave the office for the day.

She considered pretending she hadn't heard him and leaving anyway.

"What is it?" she asked in the end because he was meticulous about paying double wage for overtime.

"I'd like you to retrieve someone from Narita for me."

"Long distance clients, that's a first," she commented.

"Family."

"I'd rather you take care of your family matters yourself."

"I'd like to avoid having anything to do with this particular family member, if you know what I mean. These are the details of his flight." He retrieved a copy from the printer and slid it toward her.

She picked it up tentatively. It was an Aeroflot's Moscow-Tokyo flight.

“So you really do have family in Russia,” she observed.

“This might have been just the last leg of his journey. It doesn’t mean he lives there,” Izaya pointed out but strangely he didn’t even sound convincing.

Namie glanced at him with renewed interest. It seemed he was slightly shaken by this situation, whatever the situation was.

"Drop him off at a hotel if he won't be interested in going to our parents’ house. I don't want to see him here, no matter what he says."

"How do I recognize this person?" Namie inquired, hiding the sheet of paper in her purse.

"He looks like me."

"I don't follow."

"He looks *just* like me. His name is Psyche. You could say he's my evil twin. And by evil I don't mean he's an inverted version of me and he's actually a nice guy, though he may seem like that at first glance.”

"Do you mean you have an identical twin brother?" Namie asked, wanting to be sure. Even having spent all this time investigating her boss whenever opportunities presented themselves she'd never heard of that. "Considering you have identical twin sisters, that's so improbable..."

"Things that are highly improbable still happen, Namie-san. Please make it clear to him we're not interested in his assistance in any matters and tell him I don’t want to meet him ever again. If he agrees, you can buy him a ticket back to Russia or wherever he wants to go using my money. Make it as far away as possible. I won't mind in the slightest as long as he's gone."

"It seems he's really your twin if he's managed to garner such an animosity from his own brother."

"You have no clue how unfunny you are at this moment, Namie-san,” Izaya said with a scowl.

\---

_I know you're reading my e-mails even though you never reply. This time around I have something important to announce so please don’t ignore it. I'm coming to Japan tomorrow (the details of my flight are in the attachment). It's been quite some time since I've been to Japan and I've recently realized even my spoken Japanese has gone rusty. That's why I decided to finally pay you a visit. Please come get me from the airport, you know how I was no good at navigating around Tokyo. You wouldn't want me to get lost on my way to your place, right? I have the address already from our parents so no need to send it. See you._

"Go to hell," Izaya muttered to himself after rereading Psyche's e-mail.

It was true he never replied, not even once in nine years, but the fool kept on sending him emails weekly anyway, writing to him about what he was doing and attaching photos of himself in his ridiculous clothes.

Izaya hoped Namie was going to succeed at keeping him away from the office for some time at least. He would have left and hid somewhere but he had work to do that he couldn’t reschedule on such short notice and it required access to the documents he was keeping here. Psyche's sudden arrival was intentional. He hadn't given him time to prepare.

\---

Namie reached the airport and paid the hefty cab fare without as much as batting an eyelash, confident in Izaya refunding her expenses on top of her double wage. She headed inside the arrivals hall and positioned herself in a spot she could observe all the passengers of the Moscow-Tokyo flight from. Her skin was itching at the thought of encountering a twin of her despicable boss. Hopefully he wasn't going to insist on meeting his sibling and she was never going to be subjected to the double dose of Izaya's smugness.

She was looking at the faces of the passengers that started to come out closely but this man actually caught her attention immediately even while surrounded by a small crowd. He was wearing all white and his coat had a fluffy pink lining and the trolley suitcase he was pulling behind him was in a seemingly color-coordinated shade of pink. She confirmed it was Izaya's brother by taking a closer look at his face which was essentially Izaya's face framed by slightly longer bangs. But seriously, pink? On Orihara Izaya's twin brother? Their fashion senses seemed to be quite incompatible.

"Excuse me!" she called out after him before he could walk away.

He was looking around as if he was expecting someone to wait for him but his eyes were huge with surprise when she approached him and she was briefly disgruntled by the openness of his facial expression. His tentative smile was right out timid. She felt better instantly.

"Are you Orihara Psyche?” she asked. “I was sent here by your brother."

He nodded.

"I don’t use that family name anymore, though, so please don't call me that. Just call me Psyche." He looked at her expectantly. “Ah, I was waiting for you to shake my hand,” he explained his mistake before bowing down.

It made Namie wonder for how long he had been living outside Japan. She had already made up her mind about looking up some information about him but if he was using a different last name and without knowing the kanji used for his first name she was going to have a hard time finding anything. He didn't seem willing to provide her with his full name though even after she had introduced herself.

"I'm Izaya's secretary," she proceeded to explain. “He's asked me to escort you to your parents’ house or to a hotel."

"I'd prefer to go to his place."

"Unfortunately, he needed to leave on an urgent business trip."

"Can you lend me your phone to call him? I'll go wherever he is. I don't like Tokyo anyway."

"Fine," she started rummaging through her purse. "It seems I've left my phone somewhere, though. Let’s get you home or to a hotel and you can wait there for him to contact you."

"That's too bad." Psyche sighed. "I'll go to a hotel on my own then, if you don't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He nodded before walking away, the pink trolley suitcase rolling behind him.

Namie called Izaya. He told her she wasn't to come to work the following day.

\---

Several hours later Izaya got a call from the security downstairs that the person he'd told them to stop from heading toward his office arrived. They informed Psyche yet again that Izaya had left a message for him about being away.

"He said he'd wait," the security guard told Izaya on the phone, sounding quite baffled, probably because of Psyche’s looks. "Am I supposed to throw him out of here?"

"You can try in a few hours if he won't get bored and leave by then. But please refrain from using violence against him," Izaya answered on the phone.

Psyche smiled at the guard knowingly from the other side of the hall.

He had bought a basic Japanese cell phone on his way there and he took it out and started exploring its needlessly convoluted menus, even while his hand was itching for his white iPhone instead. Too bad it was a GSM version that wasn't going to work as a phone in Japan.

"Hello, it's me again." Psyche approached the security guard behind the counter in the hall a few hours later. "I wanted to call my brother and ask him how his trip was going but unfortunately, I seem to have lost his phone number somewhere," his voice trembled with nervousness. "Do you have it by any chance? You should have it in case of an emergency at his office while he’s away, actually. Could you give it to me?"

"We can't give out personal information of the tenants like that.”

"Of course not but... Don’t you know how he looks like? I'm his twin brother. If you ever saw him, you must be able to tell."

The man looked at Psyche dubiously, noting how he seemed pretty harmless if slightly disturbing. A young man in strange girly clothing looking at him hopefully with eyes of a lost kitten. Then again, they were specifically told to stop him from heading upstairs.

"I'll call Orihara-san and ask him if he wishes to speak to you."

Psyche nodded.

"You should have pretended you couldn't reach me... “ Izaya sighed into the phone, leaning back in his swivel chair. “Give that number to him then." He hang up and waited for his cell phone to ring.

"Orihara Izaya, how can I help you?" he answered.

"You could let me into your office, Iza-nii," Psyche spoke into the phone, his voice dripping with happiness despite how badly he was being treated. "I'm so happy to hear your voice. It's the first time in forever. You sound so adult." He giggled.

"I'm not in Tokyo, Psyche. Maybe if you have informed me about your visit earlier than a day prior..." Izaya feigned a sigh. "...I could have arranged things differently but as is I’m on a business trip to Sapporo."

"You're in Hokkaido?"

"Yes. It's snowing all the time and the ice sculpture festival will be held during the weekend."

"It’s just like Moscow at this time of the year. Can I join you?"

"It's a business trip, Psyche, I'm really busy with work. But if you insist..." Izaya smiled to himself. Psyche going to Sapporo and looking for him there was just what he needed.

"I'm coming then!" Psyche exclaimed into the phone. "Wait for me, Iza-nii! We're going to have so much fun together. Ten years is such an awfully long time for twin brothers not to see each other. I missed you so badly."

"I missed you, too," Izaya forced out even though his throat was clenching in protest.

Psyche hang up.

"Izaya said I can go meet him," he said to the guard happily.

"That's great."

Psyche headed toward the elevators.

"Where are you going?" the guard reacted by getting out from behind the counter.

"I'm going to my brother's office on the top floor. Since he's there, right? He's just told me he's there. Have I misunderstood?"

"N... No," the guard affirmed hesitantly.

Psyche smiled at him before disappearing inside the elevator.

A sinking feeling overcame Izaya when he heard the doorbell ring and a look at the image from the camera by the door confirmed it was Psyche indeed.

He put headphones on and let loud music blare through them to drown out the persistent ringing at the door, determined to let Psyche wait forever. He was glancing at the image from the camera sometimes as hours passed by, seeing Psyche stand there waiting and pressing the doorbell button repeatedly.

Finally, Psyche slumped down to sit on top of his trolley suitcase and started to play games on his iPhone.

Izaya took the headphones off. The doorbell was no longer ringing. The security was going to dispose of Psyche shortly before closing the building off for the night. It would serve him right. Izaya headed to his living quarters with that thought.

Around the same time Kida exited the Shinjuku Station, having completed the latest task he'd got from Izaya a whole day early, and headed toward his office. He tried calling but Izaya didn't pick up the phone. Still, he was determined to check if Izaya was there and report to him if possible now instead of having to come to the office first thing in the morning the following day.

Psyche looked at Kida questioningly when he saw him approach the door of Izaya's office.

"Izaya-san?" Kida asked hesitantly, spotting Izaya sitting on a pink trolley suitcase in front of the door of his office, dressed all in white and looking more honest somehow than he'd ever seen him look.

Psyche hesitated over the course of action for a split second. This boy knew Izaya. Was it a client? Someone he was working with? He seemed too young for both. Or was it a friend? How likely was it that he actually had his own keys? He came over late in the evening, while Izaya was hiding thus unlikely to set up any meetings. It was an unexpected visit most likely.

"I've lost the keys," Psyche said in the end, getting up.

"You mean the card?" Kida asked.

Psyche noted how the boy knew how to get into the office. It was becoming more likely he had the access card himself.

"Could you lend me yours?" Psyche demanded as if he owned said card even though he wasn't totally sure it existed.

Kida took his card out of his wallet and handed it to him, even though the whole situation seemed absurd to him and the clothes Izaya was wearing baffled him. Then again maybe he had really lost his card.

Psyche was inside the office already when Kida's phone started ringing. Izaya was calling him. Even while he was in Kida’s plain view and clearly wasn't calling anyone.

"Have you lost your phone as well, Izaya-san?" he inquired. "Because there's an incoming call from your number."

"Let me talk to them." Psyche took Kida's phone from him with a wide honest smile that looked totally unfamiliar to Kida.

"Hi, Iza-nii!" he exclaimed into the phone. "I'm sorry it took me so long but I'm finally at your place. I let myself in.”

Izaya hang up. Psyche looked at the phone he was holding questioningly and was just about to return it to Kida who, upon realizing his mistake thanks to Psyche’s words, lunged toward him with the intention of immobilizing a trespasser whom he'd unknowingly let into the office.

Something Kida hadn't seen move caught his hand before he could reach the man though and the next thing he knew, unimaginably sharp pain in his forearm made him fall down to his knees unable to breathe.

Izaya emerged from the doorway, his hair wet and unbuttoned black jeans the only thing he was wearing, a knife poised in his hand.

Kida gripped his arm instinctively. When he looked down at the unnatural angle his hand was twisted at, nausea overcame him and he realized his arm had been broken. But what was truly scary was that it had happened so quickly he didn’t even know how.

"Iza-nii?" Psyche called out innocently.

"What are you doing here, Masaomi?" Izaya asked.

Kida looked up, biting down on his lower lip to keep the nausea at bay. His eyes darted from Psyche to Izaya and from Izaya to Psyche. The two looked identical, only the clothes were different. In his current state, Kida couldn't wrap his mind around what was actually happening at all.

"I wanted to... report," he said softly.

Izaya figured Kida must have encountered Psyche, who looked just like him, and let him into the office, thinking it was him. It served Kida right that he'd got injured, then. Too bad he now also knew about Psyche's existence.

"Get out of here and call yourself an ambulance," Izaya ordered.

"But..." Kida protested.

"Get out."

Kida got up to his feet and left in the end, two pairs of crimson eyes following his slumped figure as it disappeared down the hallway.

"I'm sorry, Iza-nii. He attacked me first!" Psyche was quick to point out. "Could you please hide that knife?"

"What do you want?"

"You're my twin, Iza-nii. And it's been ten year since we've last seen each other. And considering you only called me twice since then during the first year I was away and never answered any of my e-mails, it's been nine years since we've spoken to each other. I missed you." Psyche confessed and started approaching.

There were actual tears welling up in his eyes. A sight so foreign in essentially his own face it was making Izaya feel very weird. He was no longer used to having his mirror image walk around.

"And you said on the phone you missed me too," Psyche pointed out.

"I lied." Izaya shrugged. "Why didn't you go to Hokkaido anyway?"

"Do you want to go? We can go there right now if you want to."

"I'm all for *you* going on a trip all around Japan if that will make you stay away from me. I'll even pay for it."

"But I don't want to go anywhere without you," Psyche insisted.

It pained Izaya's ears to hear his own voice used to whine like a brat like that.

"Please drop that knife, Iza-nii," Psyche pleaded again, stopping just in front of Izaya.

He sighed when Izaya didn't do that, wiped off the tears of joy at seeing his brother again that had appeared regardless of the awkward situation and reached into the pocket of his coat.

"Is that how you want to play, Iza-nii?" He inquired good-naturedly, a regular kitchen knife poised in his hand now.

It was all he'd managed to acquire so far after coming to Japan.

"Let's drop these knives, Iza-nii. And forget we ever had them," Psyche offered even as his eyes moved over Izaya's figure, assessing his stance. Apparently, Izaya knew what he was doing with that folding knife, but Psyche was still so familiar with him he could see shadows of years old injuries and weaknesses of his that would have been enough for him to knock the knife out of his hand.

But Psyche never attacked first. And he hadn’t been provoked yet.

"I never said you could come here," Izaya pointed out, the blade of his knife still directed right at his look-alike. "You should have realized by now I'd rather not see you ever again."

"It's awful to hate one's own twin brother," Psyche said, his bottom lip starting to tremble and tears filling his eyes again.

Izaya noted how Psyche had changed way too little for all the years that had passed since they'd last seen each other. He was probably still the same. Actually, he had already made that much apparent by breaking Kida's arm.

A shiver ran down Izaya's spine, not only because he wasn't wearing a shirt and rivulets of cold water were running down his back from his wet hair.

There used to be a time when he was happy to have a brother. He was never alone throughout his early childhood and the sheer amount of wit and strength the two of them combined represented even as little kids made it possible for them to instantly take control of any and all groups they became part of as children. Back then it felt good to work as a team with Psyche.

Even as Psyche gradually started to show signs of unexplainable cruelty, Izaya was fine with that. He saw nothing wrong in his brother provoking fear in others or right out hurting them. Until one day...

"Don't come any closer," Izaya warned when Psyche took another step in his direction.

Psyche’s knife was big and sharp, its blade glinting ominously. Combined with his white and pink clothes the effect was chilling.

"Iza-nii, please..."

Izaya had lots of faith in his abilities when it came to knife fights. If he could have slashed Shizu-chan and beaten any given thug on the streets, there was no way Psyche of all people was off-limits for him.

 

_...Izaya was never going to forget the look in eight year old Psyche's eyes when in the middle of playing some stupid game he'd lost he reacted to Izaya's mocking by taking a hold of Izaya’s left hand, dragging it up to his lips and biting down on Izaya's index finger so hard that when Izaya finally managed to pull his hand away, blood gushing out of the wound and flowing from Psyche's smiling mouth, his finger was no longer there._

 

"You wear a ring to hide the scar?" Psyche inquired, catching Izaya's left hand with his own delicately, the folding knife knocked out of it.

The pressure Psyche had applied to achieve as much had been directed right at the weakened finger stabilizing the blade.

Izaya's eyes flickered down to the knife Psyche was still holding in his other hand right before it plunged deeply into his stomach.

Once having buried it to the hilt, Psyche pulled it back out with excruciating slowness, Izaya's fingers spasming while entwined with his.

"Why does it take this for you to give me a welcome home hug, Iza-nii?" Psyche inquired softly, dropping the bloody knife and closing Izaya's injured body in his arms, the tears flowing freely from his eyes now. "I missed you so much," he whispered.

The blood was staining Psyche’s white clothes and near-white skin. Izaya's eyes closed and his body relaxed in Psyche's grasp.

Psyche never attacked first. But as soon as Izaya had started moving, it had been game on.

\---

"Who got you that bad, Izaya-kun?" Shinra inquired, assessing the collection of beeping hospital machines Izaya was hooked up to.

"Will you be able to patch me up if I get out of here now?" Izaya inquired hopefully.

Shinra clicked his tongue.

"That's a very bad idea. Very very bad idea, actually. I don't have these kinds of facilities at home. Judging by the treatment they're administering to you there was some damage to internal organs. I guess you just need to stay here, no matter how much you may hate hospitals. You're lucky someone called an ambulance for you soon enough at all."

"You're not helping me, Shinra," Izaya pointed out.

He was deadly pale and seemed smaller than usual somehow, tucked into a hospital bed and covered up neatly with white sheets. His eyes were shiny. Was he feverish? Was an infection setting into his wound? Shinra was instantly interested but Izaya slapped his hand away when he reached for his forehead.

"Why are you so jumpy?" Shinra hugged his offended hand to his chest.

"Because I'm risking my life by staying here like that."

"I think you're exaggerating, Izaya-kun." Shinra sighed. "Unless the person who stabbed you is going to try again, it wasn't on the news that you were injured this time around and it's not like you won't be risking your life by trying to get out of here before you heal either. What happened to you anyway?"

"Nothing that should concern you," Izaya replied coldly. "I have a favor to ask from you and Celty though. I'll pay you a lot if you do well."

"What is it?"

"Psyche’s back."

Shinra smiled only to scowl a moment later. He liked Izaya's twin back in the day when they were all in one class in middle school. Unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, Psyche needed to leave and not be mentioned ever again and it had been years since any of the Orihara siblings as much as said his name.

"He's at my place, he has my keys, my documents, my phones and access to my clothes," Izaya explained. "And he's still looking like me, pretty much. I'm afraid he'll try to impersonate me."

"It was Psyche who brought you here, right?" Shinra asked. "It's good he came back.” He smiled. “I could never understand the extent of his selflessness when it came to you but it seems he's still good at taking care of you..."

"Are you even listening to me, Shinra? Do you want him wandering around the city looking like me?"

"It might be funny though it's not exactly safe, right?" Shinra wondered. "Because of how you are. Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"No," Izaya protested instantly. "Explain it to Celty. Have her throw him out of my place and retrieve my phone and ID while at it. Then pay for his stay at a hotel. Make sure he’s checked in.”

"Didn't you have a secretary though?" Shinra remembered.

"I bet she's on a self-assigned paid leave."

\---

The swivel chair was absolutely lovely and Psyche liked all these Macs on the desk a lot. He had a Mac Pro himself back at home in Moscow. Too bad every single one of the computers in the office was locked in a myriad ways. After some tinkering that had amounted to nothing, Psyche gave up with a sigh.

The fridge was full of take-out sushi and he was happy to finally be able to satisfy his sushi cravings piled up after years of living in Europe where sushi never tasted this good. He’d developed a fondness for caviar to substitute but there was still nothing like ootoro. There were no sweets in the cupboards at all though and that made him very sad.

He spent all day watching television on the giant screen, lounging on the leather couch, unperturbed by the bloodstains left over by Izaya's body that had been waiting for the ambulance there.

The next morning he figured he needed to go out, if only because his sugar cravings were killing him after not having any sweets for two days. He could have gone out in his own clothes but decided against it because the weather seemed to be quite cold and his white coat was all stained with blood and he didn't have a spare for it. Borrowing just one of the countless black fur-lined coats filling Izaya's closet wasn't going to make his brother angry at him after all, right?

Looking himself over in the mirror, Psyche noted how with his red eyes he didn't look good-natured at all in a long black coat, though.

Then he changed into Izaya’s clothes all over because his own white and pink clothes didn't go well with that kind of coat.

He noted how tight Izaya’s shirts were on him, his muscles threatening to rip them apart, how his brother was apparently a scrawny little thing compared to him which might not have been apparent at first glance but explained why he wasn’t much of a challenge in a fight.

He pulled Izaya's black jeans on, added a belt to keep them in place and headed out, wearing his own sneakers to complete the outfit.

He left Izaya's phones behind because it wasn't fun answering the numerous incoming calls after the first few dozen, but held onto his brother's ID and wallet. He weighed the folding knife in his hand thoughtfully before pocketing it as well.

He wondered what it was Izaya was even doing for a living. He'd been told by their parents he was some kind of a hedge fund manager but wouldn't that have required owning more than one suit and a university degree? There was something fishy about Izaya's business but Psyche shrugged it off for now.

Walking through Shinjuku, he encountered some suspicious glances but replied with an honest smile that only seemed to weird the staring people out.

Things had certainly changed during the ten years of his absence. Though he couldn't really tell the details seeing as he hadn't been all that familiar with Shinjuku in the first place. Unlike Izaya, Psyche was never fond of wandering around Tokyo and their parents likewise preferred for him to stay home and practice on the piano, all their hopes of raising a professional piano player transferred onto him once Izaya was a lost cause after having injured his finger. Thus, Psyche was only well acquainted with the part of Ikebukuro where their old home and middle school had been situated. After munching through several pieces of cake at various cafes he decided to head right there, having nothing better to do.

It was so boring without Iza-nii. Psyche hoped he would be back soon.

"Izaya!" Simon waved to Psyche with an inviting smile when he spotted him passing by Russia Sushi. "Eat sushi? Is 50% off day today. Lots of clients. But you're welcome."

Psyche blinked before coming closer and staring up at the face of a giant black man in a traditional looking Japanese attire. It was quite a peculiar sight.

"You know Izaya?" he inquired politely. Apparently, the man had mistaken him for his brother. It was understandable and Psyche expected as much. He smiled. "Russia Sushi, huh?" He glanced at the banner over the door of the restaurant he was clearly being invited into. "My name's Psyche. I'm Izaya's twin brother." He stretched his hand out to Simon.

"Stupid joke." Simon shrugged, unamused. "But please eat sushi."

"You don't believe me?" Psyche tilted his head sideways. "I was in Russia for the past ten years, that's why we've never met it seems. I'm honestly tired of the Russian idea of sushi, too. I'm sorry."

Simon looked at him thoughtfully.

"Are you really not Izaya?"

Psyche retrieved his Russian passport from his pocket with a sigh and presented the page with the photo next to his face.

"I didn't mean to be impolite." Simon apologized in Russian before they made their introductions.

Psyche's hand disappeared in his completely when they shook hands but his grip was surprisingly strong to the point Simon's brow furrowed in thought. He noted the lack of the rings Izaya would have been wearing and the amazement in Psyche's eyes.

"I didn't think I'd meet any Russians on my first day out in Tokyo," Psyche said amiably. "You're not a native speaker of Russian though, are you? Your accent's way off. Just like mine."

Simon observed how his Russian was still light years ahead of Izaya's usual way of speaking it.

"I was born in the US. So you just came here? Why are you wearing Izaya's clothes?"

"I didn't really take that many things with me since I came on the plane and my clothes already got dirty." Psyche smiled apologetically.

"Do you know what's your brother doing for a living?" Simon asked seriously.

"Not really." Psyche shook his head. "Is that something wrong?"

"It's not exactly safe for you to be wandering around looking like him."

"No?" Psyche looked decidedly worried. "We haven't really kept in touch with Izaya so I don't know. Should I buy a new coat?" He looked down at himself. "Ah well, I need to go shopping anyway." He beamed at Simon. "Maybe I should go to Shibuya? I'll come to your restaurant once I start missing Russia. Bye!"

Simon waved goodbye to him. It might have been a stupid joke but he was somehow certain this was not Izaya playing around. Izaya was just not that strong, Simon thought glancing at his hand as Psyche went away.

This man acted so good-natured compared to Izaya, too.

A loud crash that resounded a few blocks away a moment later and a vending machine flying in the sky in the space between two skyscrapers indicated Psyche wasn’t as lucky as to avoid running into problems while wandering around Ikebukuro looking like Izaya.

Too bad it was a 50% off day and there was no way for Simon to leave his post in front of the restaurant and rush to his rescue. He could only hope Shizuo had enough good sense to avoid slaughtering the wrong person.

\---

So that was what the black Russian meant by not exactly safe, Psyche thought, glancing at the stop sign embedded in the wall next to his head. He'd never seen anything quite like that or flying vending machines. His eyes flickered to the man who had caused this incredible phenomenon. He certainly didn't look the part, maybe save for the maniacal glint in his eyes.

"Iiiizaaaayaaaaa-kun..." he chanted, cracking his knuckles while coming closer.

What was it exactly Izaya was doing to warrant the wrath of monsters like that?

Psyche retrieved the knife from his pocket.

"It's time to say goodbye," Shizuo declared, poising his fist for a punch, unperturbed by the fact Psyche now had a knife in his hand.

Before Shizuo could punch him, Psyche lunged at him with the knife.

'The fuck,' Psyche thought, the blade getting stuck in that strange man's chest, not even an inch deep, even though the force he'd put into the stab and its angle should have warranted piercing right through his heart.

Shizuo's movements were momentarily stalled by shock and Psyche promptly kicked his legs from under him.

"Are you okay?" He was quick to ask when the man fell down to the ground.

His head narrowly missed being cracked open against the concrete when he was tackled down to the ground as well.

"So you strike to kill, eh, flea?!" The man growled, climbing over his body and holding Psyche down, his wrists caught in an unbreakable grasp. "It seems you're eager to die today."

The fist that collided with the ground right where Psyche's face would have been if he hadn't moved his head sideways made the concrete crack.

"HELP!" Psyche started screaming with all the urgency and shrill volume one would've expected from a pig being slaughtered, his eyes filling with tears. "Please stop..." he asked weakly, cracking one eye open when the next blow didn't come for some time.

Shizuo was looking down at him with a puzzled expression. A few passersby gathered a safe distance away, alarmed by the scream and the bartender suit on the attacker, pointing to the two of them with their fingers.

"I'm not Izaya," Psyche protested weakly.

"Sure you are Izaya, flea."

"I'm his twin brother. I moved away in middle school."

Rivulets of tears running down Psyche's cheeks all of a sudden were looking decidedly foreign on what Shizuo presumed to be Izaya's face but he wasn't buying his stupid lie.

They both looked sideways when a commotion among the small group of observers indicated the policemen were approaching.

Even though the situation was in his favor, considering he was the one with the knife stuck in his chest, the strange man in the bartender suit stood up quickly and ran away.

"I'm okay. It was a misunderstanding, I guess," Psyche spoke dazedly once he was encircled by the policemen and the onlookers.

\---

"What happened?" Shinra asked worriedly, having opened the door of his place only to see a stumbling Shizuo, the white dress shirt under his vest soaking red with blood and a knife handle sticking out of his chest.

"I came upon the flea in Ikebukuro," Shizuo answered with a remarkable ease considering his injury. "I was going to finish him off too but he started screaming his head off and the policemen appeared."

Shinra's eyes widened. Celty had just left to take care of Psyche. It seemed she was already too late though.

"Should I have taken it out?" Shizuo asked, pointing to the knife embedded in his chest.

"No no no. It's blocking the bloodshed," Shinra said, ushering him into his office.

"Fucking flea," Shizuo hissed when the knife was being removed.

There were unspoken boundaries to his fights with Izaya so far, even though the outward objective was to kill. Boundaries Izaya had breached by stabbing him that badly. Shizuo was going to show him how unwise it was to test his patience like that. The next time around, he wasn't going to hold back either even if it meant he was going to end up murdering someone for the first time in his life.

"It was not Izaya you met, Shizuo-kun," Shinra said after having dressed Shizuo's wound.

"Of course it was Izaya," Shizuo snorted, motioning with a move of his head to the bloodied folding knife lying on the table next to him, one both of them knew quite well at this point.

"I assure you it wasn't. Izaya's in the hospital with a very serious wound right now. I was there to see him just a few hours ago. Even if by any chance he managed to leave, he couldn't have been running around Ikebukuro in his current condition. You met Psyche." Shinra sighed. "And you must have terrified him pretty badly to make him stab you like that. This kind of wound would have probably killed an ordinary person. I hope you haven't hurt him?"

"Psyche?" Shizuo asked incredulously.

"Izaya's twin brother. We were in one class in middle school but his family sent him away to Russia shortly before graduation and he's back only now," Shinra explained.

"What kind of a joke is that?" Shizuo was not buying it either way because certainly it was another one of Izaya's games he had been falling for way too often anyway. Why was Shinra playing along this time around was beyond him though.

"It may sound a bit weird but it's true." Shinra walked up to his desk and started to rummage through its drawers. "I've been asked to dispose of all of the photos with the two of them but..." He retrieved a photo album from the bottom of one of the drawers and looked through it. "Here." He presented one of the pages to Shizuo.

In the photos a years younger Shinra in huge glasses was hanging out with two teenage Izayas.

Shizuo's blood boiled at being confronted with this kind of an abomination. So on top of Izaya even existing in the first place, there were actually two of them?

"Back when I knew him, Psyche wasn't like Izaya at all," Shinra said. "In fact, I liked him better than Izaya." He smiled, thinking back to his memories. "But then for whatever reason his family made him take the blame for something Izaya did and he needed to leave."

"So he doesn't like the flea much?" Shizuo perked up.

"The way I remember him, Psyche had a really sweet personality, completely unlike his brother. Knowing him, he has probably forgiven Izaya years ago. You must have really made him feel unwelcome back in Japan by attacking him though, Shizuo-kun. You should apologize to him," Shinra scolded him.

"Not like I enjoy having knives plunged into me either."

"You assaulted him just because of his looks. It was self-defense. It's better than if you ended up accidentally killing him, right?"

"I guess," Shizuo admitted uneasily.

He was beginning to feel guilty for actually attacking someone for no reason at all, even if it was the flea's twin brother.

"I'll have Celty bring him here," Shinra announced, typing a message on his phone. "He must be lonely waiting for Izaya at his place all alone anyway."

\---

"Shinra-kun!" Psyche hugged Shinra enthusiastically the moment the door opened.

The wisp of shadow hidden in Celty's helmet wavered uneasily. She was strangely creeped out by Psyche since the moment she'd first seen him an hour ago, as if he was an alien. Maybe it had something to do with him looking just like Izaya but acting completely different but she had a feeling her prejudice ran deeper than that.

"Celty has probably introduced herself to you already. One more thing you should know about her is that she's my fiancée," Shinra announced, avoiding Celty's jab to his ribs expertly. "There's one more person waiting for you. I guess the two of you have a misunderstanding to clear," he said, guiding Psyche into the living room.

At this point, Psyche was wearing a white coat he'd bought in Shibuya and had changed into appropriately white clothes under it before leaving Izaya's place with Celty.

Whatever Celty was, she was really unwilling to take her helmet off and to speak, he observed, but decided not to pry for now.

Shinra was pretty much still his old naive self.

"This is Heiwajima Shizuo, a friend of mine," Shinra said. “The two of us were also going to the same high school with Izaya. Shizuo-kun, I've already told you about Psyche.”

Shizuo scowled.

Psyche stayed in the doorway cautiously, faced with the man who had attacked him earlier. Despite the injury Psyche had inflicted upon him, he was looking all right. He had a clean shirt on and the bandages were barely showing under it.

"Don't be afraid, Psyche, Shizuo will no longer act that hostile toward you now that he knows you're not Izaya, right?"

"What's the difference between you and Izaya?" Shizuo demanded.

"What do you mean?" Psyche asked hesitantly.

"A way to tell you two apart."

"That's plain mean, Shizuo-kun," Shinra said. "And you haven't even apologized to him yet."

"I'm sorry," Shizuo apologized, staring at the ceiling pointedly. "I thought you were your brother."

"Why would you attack Iza-nii though?" Psyche asked.

He didn't sound much like Izaya though Shizuo was pretty much sure the flea was capable of sounding as whiny if he wanted to.

"I guess if you know him as well as you should as his twin, you can imagine." Shizuo shrugged. "I hate him and his shady dealings."

"I haven't seen Iza-nii in ten years. I'm not quite up to date with what he does. But I'm sorry if he's hurt you somehow, Heiwajima-san."

"I'll be going." Shizuo headed toward the door. "Thanks for patching me up, Shinra. I'm not sure how to go about not hurting you accidentally when you look just like the flea," He addressed Psyche, approaching him since he was still standing in the doorway. Psyche moved out of his way. "But I'm pretty much only around in Ikebukuro so if you stay out of there you should be okay."

Shinra sighed.

"He's in a bad mood or something," He explained.

"Can we talk, Heiwajima-san?" Psyche asked, looking at Shizuo curiously. "Like maybe have coffee together? I'll tell you how you can tell me and Izaya apart if you agree," he offered good-naturedly.

\---

Shizuo was feeling absolutely absurd sitting at a cafe with an Izaya-lookalike dressed all in white and making cooing sounds when he was served strawberry cake.

Shinra had encouraged them to go talk very persistently though and that combined with his guilt over having attempted to beat up an innocent person made Shizuo agree to this. Thankfully they were far from his usual places so the chances of anyone who knew him spotting them together were at least very slim.

"I'm sorry about stabbing you, Heiwajima-san. But I was afraid you'd kill me otherwise," Psyche spoke up, his attention switching from the cake to Shizuo.

"It's okay." Shizuo plunged his fork into his own piece of cake with a bit too much energy.

Psyche thought how it would have been a problem if it was any ordinary person he'd stabbed like that, because that person would have been dead. He was relieved that nobody was blaming him for what had happened but the fact that Shizuo hadn't died or even come close to that made him really curious, even more so than the man's incredible strength.

"This Russia Sushi guy, Simon, he was right it wasn't safe for me to be in Ikebukuro looking like Iza-nii. My parents say Iza-nii's working as a hedge fund manager. But it's a lie, right?"

Shizuo snorted.

"He doesn't really work in the legitimate sense of the word at all," he said. "He sets people against each other and profits from that or sells lies. Thankfully he moved to Shinjuku with that business of his."

The word 'business' was spoken as if it was badly contaminated.

Psyche tilted his head sideways. Shinra had warned him before the two of them left his place about Shizuo's extremely bad temper which combined with his inhuman strength led to disasters at times.

It made Psyche think of himself and of the ease with which he too breached certain boundaries.

"Is that why you don't like Iza-nii, Heiwajima-san?"

"One of the reasons."

"Does Iza-nii hate you back?"

"I guess."

But of course he did, Psyche thought. Izaya hated mindless beasts that didn't even deserve to be called human more than anything else. Because he couldn't reason with them. And because they slipped out of his control.

"And you, Heiwajima-san? What kind of job do you have?" Psyche asked.

"Debt collector."

"It seems suitable. I make music," Psyche supplied with a smile but Shizuo didn't look interested in the slightest. "I should probably tell you the way to tell me and Iza-nii apart to get on your good side, right, Heiwajima-san? Because you're afraid Iza-nii would impersonate me or claim to be me and try to avoid your wrath that way. If you hanged out with me for a bit, I'm sure you could have told us apart easily," Psyche offered but when Shizuo didn’t say anything he continued. "Okay. Here." He stretched his right index finger out in front of Shizuo's face. "Iza-nii has lost that finger when we were kids. It was reattached quickly enough to heal almost completely but he has a scar around its base. He wears a ring to conceal it though. The other thing: his clothes don’t fit me. He’s thinner than me."

Shizuo busied himself with his cake unsure if he should thank or not.

"You're not very talkative, are you, Heiwajima-san? But you seem like a nice person anyway. Does it bother you much that I look like Iza-nii?"

"It's nothing you can help."

"I guess. I could make some further efforts, though," Psyche mused. "Like maybe I should dye my hair or get colored contacts..."

Just whatever. Shizuo wasn't really interested. He munched on his cake, hoping to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Heiwajima-san, do you think we could have been friends if I didn't leave and we met each other back in high school?" Psyche asked, looking at Shizuo seriously.

Shizuo doubted it would have been possible but it wouldn’t have been polite to voice that doubt.

"Truth to be told, I know Iza-nii isn't a good person," Psyche admitted with a sigh, leaning toward Shizuo. "He doesn't care for anyone. Not even me or our sisters. Being as cold-hearted as him is in fact even more inhuman than having uncontrollable emotions, don't you agree, Heiwajima-san?"

Shizuo noted how Izaya and Psyche were more alike after all than it might have seemed at first glance.

"I think if we met back then I would have liked you a lot," Psyche declared, his eyes wide and innocent. "And we would have had lots of fun together throughout all these years. It’s just another thing Iza-nii has ruined."

"I guess," Shizuo agreed reluctantly.

Come to think of it, being forced to leave everything behind on a short notice must have been somewhat rough on Psyche. But well, these seemed to be the joys of being Orihara Izaya's brother. Shizuo wouldn't have expected anything else from the flea.

"What did he do?" Shizuo asked in the end.

"What do you mean?" Psyche looked at him questioningly, munching on a half-eaten strawberry.

"Shinra said you took the blame for something Izaya did and that's why you needed to leave. So what did he do?"

"I don't think Shinra-kun would like people to know," Psyche said. "But I'll tell you, Heiwajima-san, because I want to be friends." Shizuo nearly bolted out of his chair when Psyche's hand landed on his. "Iza-nii injured Shinra-kun back in middle school. And since he was already having problems, I tried to take the blame for him. Since we looked the same and all... It didn't work in the end and we both kind of got in trouble... So at this point my parents decided to separate us. I preferred for Iza-nii to stay since he seemed so much more into things around here, so I agreed to go away. Are you in pain, Heiwajima-san?" Psyche's eyes widened in alarm when Shizuo's features scrunched up as if in pain.

"No... Maybe... I think I should head home."

"I'm really sorry for stabbing you, Heiwajima-san. It happened so fast," Psyche made a point to stare down at the table in guilt, his hand squeezing Shizuo’s.

"I'm okay," Shizuo assured him before standing up, putting his hands into his pockets and heading to the door, leaving a few banknotes on the table.

Psyche stared at his retreating form thoughtfully for a while before finishing his cake and then the leftovers Shizuo had left behind.

\---

"Do you know of a place where I can clean this coat, Shinra-kun?" Psyche asked innocently, showing his blood-stained white coat to Shinra. "I like it very much and it’s custom-made. I hope it can be salvaged somehow."

"It doesn't look so good," Shinra said. "And I know what I'm talking about. Bloodstains are a daily matter for a doctor like me."

"Too bad." Psyche scowled.

"It's Izaya-kun's blood?"

"Yes. Iza-nii didn't come to the airport to get me, so I went to his place on my own and he... he was there like that, bleeding terribly... I thought he might have died."

"He was lucky you showed up just in time to call an ambulance for him."

"I guess."

"We'll go to visit him at the hospital tomorrow. How does that sound?"

Psyche nodded enthusiastically.

Celty was looking at their exchange, still wearing her helmet. Shinra had told her earlier about the events that had resulted in Psyche being forced to go away ten years ago. She noted how Psyche, as sweet as he seemed, was involved in people getting seriously injured quite often, all things considered.

How come Shinra wasn't paying attention to that at all?

\---

Later that night Psyche set his laptop up in one of the guest bedrooms and went on Skype.

"Hi, Tsugaru-chan!" He exclaimed happily in Russian, other than the ‘-chan’ that’s it, waving to the laptop's camera. "Uhm... I hope it's not too early for you? I couldn't wait longer than that."

"It's okay."

"It's fun here. But I miss you a little bit, Tsu-chan."

"You've met your brother?"

"I did. But he had an accident right after I came here and he's been in the hospital since." Psyche sighed. "I’ll have to wait until he gets out to do anything fun with him, I guess. So I won't be back home very soon."

"I don't mind."

"I'm staying at a friend's place. Someone's I know back from middle school. His girlfriend sure is creepy though. On the other hand, I've met a nice guy today. He's a bit on the uncultured side but... He reminds me of you, Tsu-chan." Psyche leaned down toward the camera. "And he's very hot. I hope you don’t mind me thinking this.”

"If it's just thinking he's hot then I don't mind."

"You're the best! He hates my brother though. It's a bit sad. First time I met him he lunged at me with his fists without asking questions because he thought I was Iza-nii. I was scared for awhile there. But the police showed up and scared him away."

"And you're still calling him nice."

"He is nice," Psyche insisted. "When he's not angry. I went shopping today and it was fun, too. It's a pity you couldn't come with me, Tsu-chan."

"You asked me not to, Psyche."

"I did?"

"You did."

"Mhm... I must have been thinking I wanted some time alone with Iza-nii to sort things out. But he's stuck in the hospital." Psyche scowled. "He wasn't so nice to me, either. But I hope he will get nicer soon, what do you think, Tsu-chan?"

"I can't imagine anyone not warming up to you."

"You're the best. Oh, I've said that already, too. I think I'll be going since it's getting pretty late here."

"It's already evening here, too."

"Goodnight, Tsu-chan!" Psyche waved goodbye.

He changed into white pajamas with little pink bunnies and hid Izaya's knife he'd gotten back from Shinra under his pillow before going to sleep.

\---

"I think there's something you should explain to me, Izaya-san," Kida said, sitting down on the chair by Izaya's side. His arm was in a sling and encased in plaster covered in cute pictures and inscriptions, courtesy of girls he'd wooed to sign it for him on the streets.

Izaya didn't like how Kida was looking so sure of himself, confronted with him bedridden, unable to move and still pale from the blood loss. At least he had the decency to show up at all, unlike Namie. Guess which one of his workers was up for the Christmas bonus.

Saki visited him the previous day too and held his hand all afternoon. Too bad Kida didn’t see that. It would have certainly spoiled his good mood.

"It was my twin brother," Izaya answered.

"Since when do you have one?" Kida asked incredulously though it seemed like a viable explanation of why the guy was looking exactly like Izaya, now that he thought about it.

"Since I was born, obviously," Izaya snorted.

"What's wrong with him? He broke my arm and nearly murdered you. Was it something you did? Or is this the Orihara idea of sibling love?"

"Don't get too self-assured just because I'm stuck here for now, Masaomi-kun," Izaya warned him.

"Will he show up again?"

"He probably will," Izaya admitted reluctantly.

"What is he anyway? I haven't even seen him move. And he stabbed you even though you confronted him with a knife. That's sure something. How good is he exactly?"

"All you need to know, Masaomi-kun, is that he's pretending to be an idiot most of the time. Put on your best stupid smile and you two should get along pretty well if you happen to meet him again. I'll deal with the rest. I'd prefer if you don't tell anyone about this, though."

"Selling you out now might be a good idea, though." Kida pretended to think about it.

"If you want Psyche to break more than just your arm, go ahead. Or should we get right to Saki?"

"I thought you didn't get along."

"You're jumping to conclusions, Masaomi-kun. Just like you said, it's the tough kind of sibling love. Minor disagreements don't mean we don't get along at all. Right, Psyche?"

Kida looked up only to see the Izaya lookalike in white clothes enter the room, a cheerful smile on his face.

"Iza-nii!" Psyche squealed excitedly before storming through the room and giving Izaya a hug.

A chill ran down Kida's back at the sight. Two pairs of crimson eyes looked at him and he felt sick at the sight.

"I'll be going, Izaya-san," he excused himself.

"Hi, I'm Psyche. I'm Iza-nii's twin brother." Psyche stretched his hand out toward him.

"So I've heard." Kida nodded, looking away and not shaking his hand.

Wasn't the guy even aware who he was, Kida thought, exasperated. He got up from the chair and headed toward the door.

"Fuck!" he hissed, encountering two more pairs of these unnerving red eyes staring up at him from the doorway.

"Hi!" Mairu waved to him with a smile, Kururi towering behind her timidly.

He would have stopped for a chat normally, seeing as the Orihara sisters were quite cute if he made an effort to overlook whom they were reminding him of but his limit of Orihara creepiness for the day was full.

"Uhm? He went away without saying 'Hi'? Was it really Kida-senpai?" Mairu wondered aloud when Kida passed them by without a word. "So... Psyche-nii brought us here to visit you, Iza-nii, are you happy?"

"Okay?" Kururi echoed.

"I wanted to bring something good to eat for you but it seems you can't eat whatever you want yet, Iza-nii," Psyche spoke up. "So I bought you some books instead." He dropped a bag of books in Izaya's lap.

"What happened to you anyway, Iza-nii? Was it Shizu-chan? And why didn't you tell me and Kuru-nee anything about Psyche-nii coming to Japan? Hasn't it crossed your mind we might want to see him? We were five when he left. We were so curious how he was."

"Is Shizu-chan this tall blond guy who hurls vending machines in Ikebukuro?" Psyche asked, making frantic movements with his arms.

"Yeah, that's him," Mairu confirmed.

"I met him yesterday. He's pretty nice."

"I guess," Mairu agreed. "But wait until you see his little brother. He's a superstar! Hanejima Yuuhei-san, me and Kuru-nee, we both love him!"

"That's stupid."

"Stupid? How can you be so mean, Psyche-nii!"

Even while two of the siblings in the room continued their heated debate, the other two eyed each other reluctantly. Kururi thought how Izaya looked quite tired and it probably wasn't good for him to have this commotion in his hospital room.

"Go." She tugged at Mairu's sleeve.

"Already? Why?"

"I appreciate your sudden bout of concern," Izaya addressed his sisters. "But Kururi's right. You two should go now. There's something I need to discuss with Psyche."

"So you two have these kinds of secrets, too, huh? Twins only?" Mairu sounded very interested.

"More than you think, Mairu." Izaya smiled knowingly.

"We want to hang out again sometime, Psyche-nii!"

"Sure!" Psyche agreed.

"Glad," Kururi muttered.

"Let's go, Kuru-nee. I guess they must have missed each other terribly the past ten years." Mairu winked at them.

Psyche waved goodbye.

Kururi left the room silently and closed the door.

\---

"That's all I wanted, Iza-nii."

Izaya went still when Psyche's arms encircled his neck. The warmth and the strawberry scent, while seemingly perfectly nonthreatening, were making him decidedly uneasy.

There was no use in trying to shake Psyche off though. Despite what Izaya might have hoped for, even when he was in good shape, he still couldn't have defended himself against him.

"I don't get why you had to make this so difficult, Iza-nii,” Psyche continued. “And land yourself in the hospital for who knows how long while we could have been spending time together when I went through all this effort to come here." He sighed.

"So it's my fault?" Izaya snorted. "But then again, the picture-perfect little Psyche never did anything wrong. And even if he did, it still had nothing to do with him."

"You're still mad at me?" Psyche scowled. "It's been ten years."

"And the first thing you do after coming back after all this time is nearly killing me. Way to go, Psyche. You sure worked up some restraint. Have you really met Shizu-chan? You two seem to share a similar condition. It's really too bad you can't murder him at a whim, though."

"I guess I can't," Psyche admitted, thinking back to his failed attempt. "Why do you call him Shizu-chan? He said you hated each other."

Izaya breathed a sigh of relief when Psyche let him go, his face scrunching up in thought.

"We do. It's just a nickname. And he doesn't like it," Izaya explained offhandedly.

"You don't call me Psyche-chan."

"Because it would have made you happy."

Psyche's eyes darkened.

"I don't want you to act as if you hated me, Iza-nii."

"Go away and you won't see me ever again. That should solve your problem."

"I want you to love me again," Psyche said stubbornly.

"You know what, Psyche? You can bite all of my fingers off, you can disembowel me, you can cut my heart out, you can put the blame for whatever you want on me, you can close me off somewhere and take my place but making me love you again is one thing you can't do." Izaya smiled with aloofness. "So if you only came here for that, you can well enough go back today."

"You're mean," Psyche whined softly before bursting into tears.

\---

"Tsu-chan, Iza-nii hates me," Psyche spoke into his laptop's camera, fresh traces of tears adorning his flushed cheeks.

"Why do you think he does?"

"He says so."

"Maybe... you misunderstood him?"

"I'm not that stupid." Psyche sighed. "And I still understand Japanese just fine. He said he won't love me again no matter what I do. It hurt. I don't approve of what he does either but I'm not that mean to him and say it to his face."

"You do nothing wrong though."

"Even if I did... shouldn't my twin brother's love be the last thing I lose?"

Psyche's hands clenched into fists but Tsugaru couldn't see that in the video from the laptop camera. His face was still looking childishly upset.

"You have to try to make him see that you're worthy of his love. Maybe he just doesn't like the way you act."

"I can act as mature as he wants.”

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Tsugaru laughed.

"I don't think how I act is the problem... He makes me feel as if I failed somehow."

"There, there, don't go blaming yourself."

"That's how he makes me feel." The deadly edge to Psyche's voice was barely discernible. "I think I'll be going now, Tsu-chan! I think I've heard the door opening. Shinra-kun may be back." He waved goodbye quickly.

"Bye, Psyche."

Psyche shut the laptop's lid and sprang to his feet. In fact he hadn't heard anything and the apartment was still quite obviously empty.

The frustration welling inside Psyche ever since Izaya had made him cry was unbearable. Psyche's tears were rarely for show. He cried when he hurt, seemingly having built no restraint in that area since he'd been a little child either.

He wanted Izaya to smile at him again and overlook what had happened before he went away. He came to Japan because the ominous silence on Izaya's part when he had been e-mailing him for the past nine years had been frustrating for him.

Simply showing up and making Izaya talk to him again didn’t make him feel better though, the way he might have expected. Actually, it made it worse because all Izaya had to say was so hateful.

Psyche's fist hit the wall with a surprisingly loud thud for someone of his size. The next punches followed at a deadly pace and continued steadily for a long time.

When Psyche slumped down in fatigue in the end, drenched in sweat, resting his hands on his knees, there was a bloody imprint left on the wall and his knuckles stung, the skin ripped.

He felt slightly better though.

The intensity of how much he wanted Izaya to be nice to him was still taking his breath away.

He looked down at his ruined hands. It was this kind of treatment that put an end to their parents' dreams of raising a professional piano player in his case. He never regretted that or anything else though.

If he put his mind to it, Psyche would have realized he hadn't ever felt guilty about anything he'd done.

"Because I never did anything wrong." He whispered to himself.

\---

"Tsu-chan, I'm back!" He opened his laptop again. "I must have misheard things. Nobody was home. But I got distracted for some time. It's nice Shinra-kun agreed for me to stay here for as long as I want, don't you think?"

"It is," Tsugaru agreed.

"I don't really have that much money to pay for hotels in Tokyo and Iza-nii threw me out of his place."

"You could have stayed at your parents' house."

"I... I could. But I'm afraid of my little sisters," Psyche admitted in a conspiratorial whisper. "They turned out to be so weird. I don't even know where to begin."

"You're quite unique yourself."

"They're weirder than me! It scares me. By the way, Tsu-chan, do you know how to wash a stain off a wall?"

\---

"What are you doing, Psyche?" Shinra inquired, having caught Psyche scrubbing the wall clean when he arrived home.

"Ah..." Psyche looked at him over his shoulder, opening his mouth like a fish out of the water. "I had a little accident. But it's clean now!" He jumped to his feet.

Shinra smiled.

"It's okay, whatever happened,” he said. “Are you staying with us for dinner?"

Psyche shook his head.

"Mairu and Kururi asked me to pick them up after their classes ended.”

By now, Shinra was aware Psyche was avoiding Celty for some reason. Was it her headlessness she was still meticulously hiding from him with her helmet? Most of Shinra's and Celty's friends didn't seem to have much of a problem with it and Shinra hoped Psyche could get used to it as well.

"Celty will feel bad if you keep this up, Psyche," he said.

"She doesn't seem to like me very much, as far as I can tell." Psyche sighed. "And I want you two to have some time alone."

"That's very nice and I wouldn't expect any less from you, Psyche, but it still seems to me you're avoiding her and she might start feeling bad. I hope you can stay for dinner tomorrow?"

"I... I guess."

"How's Izaya by the way?"

"He's healing."

"He was mean to you," Shinra stated, seeing how Psyche's expression dropped after Izaya's name had been mentioned. "He's one ungrateful bastard, isn't he?" Shinra laughed. "I could never understand how the two of you, having been born twins and raised as twins, ended up being so fundamentally different. That's contradictory both to scientific claims and common sense. Especially since I haven't heard about you two consciously deciding to be like that like your little sisters. Then again, maybe you've been just hiding it better than them and deep down you're both the same or one can change into the other..."

"You don't honestly believe that, right, Shinra-kun?" Psyche looked at Shinra closely.

"Not really. It was a far-fetched theory." Shinra smiled.

Ten years ago all three of them had been in one class in middle school. Psyche still remembered clearly how one day after classes Shinra had made the mistake of confusing him with Izaya. It had only happened once with Shinra, otherwise he'd been perfect at telling him and Izaya apart, even though back then they had been wearing the exact same clothes to school.

"I always liked it how back in middle school you could tell us apart, Shinra-kun, even if the others couldn't." Psyche smiled sweetly.

 

_“Izaya-kun? It's you, right?" Shinra called out._

_He assumed the twin standing all alone in front of the school gate and looking up at the school building's roof thoughtfully must have been Izaya. Psyche was too bouncy to stay in place like that and he was always surrounded by girls who treated him like a mascot because of his non-threatening personality and cuteness._

_The icy glare directed at Shinra ensured him this wasn't Psyche. It almost looked foreign even on Izaya's face._

_"What are you looking at?" Shinra asked, genuinely curious, even though he had a feeling what it was._

_"Last week..."_

_"It was really unfortunate." Shinra nodded with an unusually somber expression. "She didn't have to die even when she jumped off the roof. The building's not that tall."_

_Izaya turned to look at the roof again._

_"Izaya-kun, you shouldn't make such a show of staring at that spot," Shinra warned. "You must have heard the rumors. People may misunderstand it."_

_"Rumors?"_

_"About you having talked her into that."_

_"You don't believe them, right, Shinra?"_

 

"It wasn't that difficult to tell you apart." Shinra laughed.

"There were lots of people who just didn't care either way. Thank you for being our friend all these years."

"Psyche..."

Psyche sauntered toward Shinra for a hug.

 

_“It would be an overstatement to say outright I don't." Shinra sighed. "I've seen you with her a lot before she jumped. And unfortunately, I know how you are."_

_"You know nothing about us."_

_"Huh? Izaya? What are..."_

 

"I'll be going now," Psyche declared, letting Shinra go.

"Say hello to your sisters."

"Sure!"

 

_There were numerous witnesses who had seen Shinra get stabbed right in front of the school gate. None of them could tell either way if it had been Izaya or Psyche who had attacked him._

_Shinra knew what he'd seen, though._

_Psyche knew the truth but went along with the story of Izaya causing trouble again that sprang up organically from Shinra’s deep conviction it had been Izaya who had stabbed him._

_Nobody listened to what Izaya might have had to say._

_Between the two of them, he was the bad one, after all._

**Author's Note:**

> Psyche here is kind of like Yahiro in Durarara!! SH. This is a coincidence though, considering I wrote most of this in 2010.


End file.
